Sunday, February 8, 2009

Why I’m still single?

I tried out internet dating for about a year. I met a couple of girls who I was totally crazy about (they weren’t interested in me), a couple who were crazy about me (I wasn’t interested in them) and then there were the rest. The girls whose photos were ten years old, the desperate, the boring, the weird (not to mention the stalker), the sweet, the beautiful, the lonely, the ugly….I’ll stop here. I went out with them all, at least once. At times I had a repeat date, just in case I missed something…but no, those first impressions were usually spot on.

The thing that I did get out of that year though is a fantastic list of quotes from the dating site. I think they shed some light on the reason I’m still single.

So here they are, as they appeared, with no alterations other than the names removed:

1. The 2 things I love most in life is animals and Jesus. I like people who knows how to smile! Someone who isn`t nagative all the time, likes to having FUN and wears nice shoes.


3. He must be patient, loveable. Must love children. Must be understandable and reasonable. I like a man who dress neatly

4. I'm looking for a honest and reliable partner. Someone who will except my two boys

5. She describes her ideal match thus: NOt fussy, must be able to have an intellegant conversation with them,

6. sexy but totally sofisticated

7. Why should you get to know l……? Working as a Secretary, do nothing at spare time, still confused what to do, I am attractive enough, have long black hair, nice figure, very hairy, but very scared of disappointments again.

8. Be interesting to be with. And be able to can hold a conversation.

9. …..i am not very fuzzy i just whant to be happy.

10. I would like to meet a male who has a wam personality without heirs and graces.

11. I am easy going and love to mingle, Intoverted yet Impulsive, Interlectual yet free sprited... Wouldnt you rather get to know me

12. I'm a good listener, but please don't bore me with info that sound really not intelligent..

13. As jy aan die volgende of meer voldoen, hou maar verby:
Wel dit elimineer omtrent 99% mans, die ander 1% is welkom om kennis te maak :-)

14. She describes her ideal match thus: friendly and anyone who can talk about daily problem and children and any other stuff and any countries that is interesting

15. Enjoy the oudoors meaning, picknick, hicking, just appreciating nature and everything in it.

16. Born-again christian women looking for a born-again men

17. Single lady sicks for love

18. Im a no fuzz kinda girl

19. Im free spiritet and fun to be with. I love a good indepth conversetion, but a great joke or a good chuckle is what I enjoy most.I believe its not who you sit next to but how you leafe them feeling when you exit the room... (im quoting some actress...). i am honest and would apreshiate it if the people who mail me would be too. I get easilly ticked off when people underesstimate my intelligense.

20. Anyone is welcome to chat to me. Favourite topics: Horses and the all important question: Who is God?

21. i like metting new people, & im outgoing like doing shopping, cooking not forgetting that im a romentic
you want roments, just came to the right place

22. Enjoy intellegient conversations. Looking for romance, companionship and trust with another sole.

23. be fun loving,confendins of him self,must engouing life at the fulles,must not thake ganges,and must now what he whant in life.

24. I'm fun loving and advenchers. Love traveling and meet people. Will try to try anything ones lol.
a Homey person, that needs pease and love at home.

25. would like someone to like the life and like the open live outside. He must like children and cooking and cleaning.

26. Adventure should be my first name, because I get board very easily. Love going out, but also appreciate an evening in at home with a glass of whine.

27. My friends would probabaly say that I am incredible loyal and a witty conservationalist.

28. Outdoor lover, Great sport, Fun Loving, Caring, Friendly, Loving, Soft Harded, Honest, Adventurios

29. No coach potatoes!! Must love the outdoors!!!


31. attractive with sexy breast and eyes

32. A bit longly at this stage. Would like to get someone to chart to, share ideas and advises with.

33. I am jest me a nice anest loving girl. I do lick my self and would love if you lick me to.

34. Nothing Too Loose

35. I am confidant, sophisticated and loads of fun. I can diverse at any level.

36. I believe patients is a virtue

37. I am sincere,and a straight forward kind of girl with no hidden agenders

38. I have so much life and energy inside me that it bubbles out. I am 50% naughty and 51% fill of life.


  1. I like the 'sexy and sofisticated' quote!

  2. OMG! Copy Editor Brain Freeze!! I bet you my doctor disagrees with #36. This is awful!

  3. Oh good heavens this is funny! Sad thing is my experience with men was pretty much the same!

    Except I dont think I met anyone who was fuzzy or could diverse at any level :)

    And I see you have a coach potatoe - who knew potatoes were trainable!

    Pretty scary that so many people can not spell!!

  4. Hilarious . . .you have just made my day . . .looking forward to your next post . .whatever the topic may be

  5. Please tell me you didn't date any of the above women.

    I can like your style

  6. oh my word...i am in hysterics here...dude u got to be kidding me???

    lol leave the internet dating to the deseperate ppl.i have gotten to know abit about u and dude u don't need no internet site to find someone!!!

  7. Luv you Cous, you do make me laugh, G

  8. I've had a similar experience with my time in the online dating community, and am about ready to call it quits. Sadly the guys are pretty much at the same level... or worse. Maybe it's shallow but certain things, like the inability to construct a complete sentence, are just dealbreakers!

    Nothing really beats one of my first college classes though, when the professor projected the words "grammer counts" in front of the whole auditorium. Woops. :)

  9. I'd really like to know what #23 has against the Ganges... I hear it's really nice this time of year!

    (Hey Graeme, it's Kathy! *waves*)

  10. They're all priceless!! Or should that be princless??!!! #30 and #34 crack me up.

    Never tried online dating... I'm a confirmed batchelorette :D

    But then I clearly lack the finesse, patent intelligence and remarkable spelling skills these girls possess, which may well explain my status!

  11. Can't understand why you didn't go for number 33.

  12. Good heavens! Haven't any of them heard of spell check!?!??

  13. Angel: I think this special brand of stupidity goes waaaay beyond mere spell check. Can't believe there are such idiots out there! Scary

  14. If only it was just spell check!

  15. *sigh* Have not tried internet dating, but this is one of the reasons I won't. I'm sick of people who try to act cool. Just be your flippen self, that's what I say